Hansen: Tourist season is over, but for how long?

Come out, Laguna Beach, come out. It’s safe now. The tourists are gone.

For most Laguna residents, Labor Day marks the start of true joy. We get to reclaim our town after the foreign occupation.

That’s essentially what it is — a massive, unrelenting army that forces us into our homes. Now we tentatively emerge like jittery grunions, squinting, trying to get our sea legs.

We are frightfully pale because we haven’t seen the summer light. We are hungry because we haven’t been able to eat in our restaurants. But most of all, we are quietly grateful.

Gone are the cars (well, some of them); gone are the unpredictable outsiders; gone are the hordes of shutterbugs who only experience their lives through online postings.

And maybe that’s the crux of it. We don’t have to take a selfie in front of the Main Beach lifeguard tower because we have a constant view.

We don’t have to ration our beach time or strategically window shop through the shopping district.

Instead, with the lines gone, we can get gelato anytime.

We can linger at our favorite gallery and talk to the owner, uninterrupted.

We don’t need a reservation anywhere, anytime.

This is the alluring dichotomy. We “suffer” in summer, knowing that winter makes up for it. There are three months of heartburn but nine months of bliss.

Suffering, of course, is relative. We keep all of this to ourselves because saying it out loud would be garish.

The dirty little secret is that we have built Laguna this way, knowingly. We keep parking the way it is to throttle the numbers.

Make no mistake: Many people in Laguna want to preserve the status quo for these very reasons.

But what does this say about our true quality of life? This schizophrenic existence must have some effect.

In other words, do these convenient summer and winter masks that we wear so well become our version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? And what are we now during winter, the benevolent Dr. Jekyll? Or are we always Dr. Jekyll but turn into Mr. Hyde toward outsiders?

Publicly, the party line is that we are always kind and gracious to outsiders, but at what point is that affectation just that — fake?

We don’t provide outsiders much of anything, except for the festivals. We make it impossible to get into town — or leave. Once they are here, they can’t park, and if they do, we charge them more and more for the privilege.

Has our denial reached an absurd enough level yet?

More to the point, what happens if the tourists never leave? With the improved economy, some local businesses are pointing out a smaller gap between summer and winter. It’s not so delineated anymore.

Many stores prefer the more discerning Christmas rush over the summer throng, which means that the blurred seasonal lines are making our city a year-round tourist trap.

Perhaps we are not quite there yet, but it’s something to consider. What if the trolleys were full year-round?

What if residents run out of service-related businesses because trinket stores have taken over?

What happens when Laguna Canyon is always bottlenecked?

These types of scenarios are not unrealistic, given our current trajectory.

However, maybe we can retake this land and better manage the foreign invaders.

Perhaps it’s why we have seven City Council candidates vying for three positions and why infrastructure-related issues are dominating the debate.

People are sensing the need for change.

It’s a similar sense of subtle urgency we feel right now at summer’s end. This little moment of relief reminds us of why we love Laguna: unfettered, intoxicating, resplendent.

In winter, we are spoiled rotten and want to keep it that way.

In summer, well, that’s another story, and one that we don’t claim.

DAVID HANSEN is a writer and Laguna Beach resident. He can be reached at [email protected].