COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:

It’s over. And not a moment too soon, I might add. Not Thanksgiving — Black Friday. Do you get it? I don’t get it.

Granted, I have a life-threatening allergy to shopping, and I wear a bright yellow bracelet that reads, “I am shopping-intolerant. If found unconscious in a store or parking lot, please move me to a safe location and call 911.”

Even so, I still don’t get it.

Every year, there are the mind-boggling scenes of hordes of bargain hunters pressing against store entrances, screaming for the doors to open then rushing inside as if they’re being chased by pit bulls.

This year’s sale-induced frenzy was no different. The list of shouting matches, fights and minor injuries is far too long to recount here, but there were the usual high points, or low points.

The Associated Press reported that a woman and her 13-year-old daughter were injured at a Wal-Mart in a Detroit suburb when they were knocked to the ground and trampled as the doors opened.

At a Wal-Mart in Orlando, a man who tried to cut in line before the doors opened was wrestled to the ground and beaten by line-abiding customers. When security guards intervened, the line-cutter took them on and was cuffed and arrested.

But I think the award this year has to go to Kohls, which opened its doors at the perfectly reasonable hour of 4 a.m. Friday morning.

That’s 4 a.m., as in, four hours after midnight and eight hours before noon. I have never been in a Kohls to the best of my knowledge, but it raises a interesting question, interesting to me anyway — i.e., what’s in there?

What is inside a Kohls store that would make an actual person get up at 3:15 a.m., wash, knock the bed head down as much as possible, pull on some clothes, hit the garage door, slide in the car and drive through deserted streets to become the last person in a long line waiting for what?

My mouse and I were dying to know, so we went to the Kohls website and clicked on “Early Bird Specials — After Thanksgiving.” I found a Croft & Barrow Floral Microfleece Robe, Pink, originally $45, on sale for $18.99. $26.01 off is nice, but is that why people got up at 0315, went to Kohls, pushed and shoved and sprinted through the aisles with a wild look in their eyes? I don’t think so.

Maybe it was the “Simply Vera” Vera Wang Satin Chiffon wrap robe, originally $40, on sale for $20.

No, that can’t be it. If $26.01 wouldn’t get you up at 3 a.m., why would $20? It could be electronic stuff though. That’s always hot.

There was a Game Boy Advanced Yoshi Topsy-Turvy, originally $19.99, on sale for $14.99.

Now we’re getting somewhere. That’s only five bucks, but if I knew there were a Game Boy Advanced Yoshi Topsy-Turvy in the deal, I’m sure that would have gotten me out of bed at 0315 like a shot.

Actually, I think it has to be electronic stuff. Remember the fighting and the cursing and the trampling at the two Wal-Marts? Do you know what the big draw was?

A $378 Hewlett-Packard laptop. According to the Associated Press, a laptop is also what motivated Janice Kosak-Ceasar and her 9-year-old son, Caydin, to claim the coveted No. 1 place in line at a Best Buy outside Houston at 4:45 a.m.

Wait. It gets worse — not 4:45 a.m. Friday, but 4:45 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day. Correct.

They spent their Thanksgiving on a sidewalk outside a Best Buy equipped with food, water and sleeping bags.

Kosak-Ceasar, 36, a registered nurse from nearby Spring, Tex. told the AP, “Kind of stupid, huh?” No, Janice, not “kind of.”

So that’s it then. Clearly if you want or need something badly enough you can go mad without it. Believe me, I get that. But does it have to be so early?

Wouldn’t 7 a.m. be crazy enough? I guess not. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at [email protected].