IN THE PIPELINE:

From Amish Country, near Lancaster, Penn.

Here in this peaceful farm country, the clip-clop of horse-drawn buggies is in danger of getting drowned out. More and more impatient tourists roar across the lazy, two-lane roads, leaving the creaky old carriages in their dust. It gets me thinking. Sitting on the steps of a weathered gray farmhouse-curio shop, watching the late-afternoon sun paint the corn fields a deep red and orange, my mind drifts back to a recent moment back home in Huntington Beach.

I was stopped at a light at Beach Boulevard and Yorktown. To my left, a woman at the wheel had a cell phone cradled to her ear. She also had a newspaper opened across the steering wheel — and was eating from a bowl of cereal (which appeared to have milk in it). Had she been an octopus, no doubt she’d have also been putting on makeup, nail polish and checking stocks. But she was just another pre-occupied driver, who somehow, managed to free up a hand to flip me off when I guess she felt my stare lingered a bit too long. (I wonder if her husband is the guy I’ve seen shaving in his car when I take my kids to school.)

Sitting here in this serene country cradle, the mind is much clearer. I think to myself, does anyone else notice how distracted, reckless and impatient drivers seem to be getting in Huntington Beach, among other places? We’ve all read of recent tragedies involving young people struck down by drivers who were speeding, not paying attention or worse. If things keep going the way they seem headed, it only promises to get worse. On my recent ride-along with Huntington Beach police they confirmed things were spiraling downward. Booze is part of it, but the distractions, recklessness and impatience are the worst, because it is more widespread and spans across all drivers.

Soon after the “Cereal Incident” as we’ll call it, I saw another driver — with three poodles in her lap. After that, I actually got out of my car at Edinger Avenue and Bolsa Chica Street when I saw a woman who’d climbed out of her minivan to scream at an elderly lady who was sitting at the red light. I asked what the problem was, and the woman, seething, told me the elderly woman refused to make a right on red. I pointed out the three “No Turn on Red” signs and was promptly told to “%^&* off and mind my own business!” A car full of teens (all three on cell phones, all three smoking) nearly killed me while the driver was running a stop sign near my house, doing perhaps 60 in a residential neighborhood. The incident unnerved me so much that I actually created a video to illustrate how many people ignore the stop sign on a regular basis (You can still see it at: www.youtube.com/ watch?v=M2ElCGEM4vU)

It seems every day I see a series of driving incidents that are so incredibly dangerous that they give a prophetic new meaning to the expression, “An accident waiting to happen.”

You may know that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger recently signed a law banning minors from using pagers, cell phones and other communication devices while driving. It takes effect July 1, 2008, the same day that drivers 18 or older must begin using phones equipped with a hands-free device. The law for young drivers seems like it should have always been on the books, right? But as we learned recently from the “Naked Man” incident here in town, you can’t always take common sense for granted (in case you missed it, a law had to be passed to outlaw walking around naked). Plus, it’s just a $20 fine for a first offense. As for the hand’s-free law, I doubt that will improve safety much. After all, research has shown that the distraction from cell phones is mostly a cognitive one, so having both hands on the wheel will make little difference. It’s about your mind being outside of the car.

And are you the type who swears you drive fine while on the phone? Stop deluding yourself. Research has also proven that drivers are rarely aware of their own bad driving while on the phone, but can notice when others do it. Some scientists think this implies that a consequence of yakking on the phone while driving is that it renders a driver insensitive to his or her own impairment. Sound familiar? It’s sort of like the alcoholic who feels sure that he/she is driving fine while intoxicated.

We demonize drunk drivers, but it’s been proven that cell-phone driving creates the same sort of impairment and few seem to mind. Why? (And it’s not just phones. Last year researchers found that reaching for an object inside the car increased the crash rate eight times.)

I think now is the time for everyone to re-evaluate how we drive in Huntington Beach, myself included. Nobody wants the call that a loved one has been killed by someone who was late, distracted, angry, or just plain stupid.

If you’re late, if you’re rushed, or juggling too many tasks, it’s your own fault. Don’t make the rest of us pay. Stop signs, turn signals, speed limits and rights-of-way are important, so pay attention to them. If you have a call to make that’s so crucial, pull over. And if someone calls you, have the common sense to tell him or her, “I can’t talk right now — I’m busy driving.”

Back here in Amish Country, a sport utility vehicle cuts off a farmer clip-clopping down the road in his horse-drawn buggy. The stoic Amish farmer doesn’t react a bit; he just stares ahead and ambles on into the fading sun.

I wish I had his patience with these drivers.

What do you think of local drivers? Any crazy stories? Post your opinion at In The Pipeline, www.hbindependent.com /columns/.

Have an old H.B. family photo for the new book Chris is working on, “Huntington Beach, Then and Now?” Write him at [email protected].

CHRIS EPTING is the author of nine books including his latest, “Led Zeppelin Crashed Here, The Rock and Roll Landmarks of North America.” He also hosts “The Pop Culture Road Trip” radio show on webtalkradio.net.