COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:Bummers all round

It happens. Big ocean, lots of stuff out there, things wash up on shore all the time. In the wee small hours of Friday morning, an especially big thing washed up in Newport Beach, about a half a mile north of Newport Pier. Actually, “washed up” is not accurate. Emerald Sea, a 62-foot commercial fishing boat based in Ventura, ran aground on a sandbar at 36th Street at 1 a.m. Friday while trawling for sardines. I know I’m a maritime moron, but why are people always fishing in the middle of the night? Are sardines asleep during the day? I don’t get it.

As far as why the boat ended up being where boats are not supposed to be, no final call on the play as yet. The crew says a big wave pushed them toward shore, but the authorities say it looks like operator error, which also puzzles me. How hard can this be? If you’re sailing south, the shore is on your left. Don’t go that way. If you’re sailing north, it’s on your right. Don’t go that way. If the shore is straight ahead, stop, then turn either left or right.

Emerald Sea, which is also emerald green, caused quite a hubbub, with people from near and far dropping by to see the big green boat perched on its sandy pedestal when the tide went out. It’s not every day you see a 62-foot, steel-hulled boat lying on the sand all dressed up with nowhere to go. By dawn, the area was closed off and all tied up in those bright yellow plastic ribbons that are all over the place on “Law & Order.”

Stan Schones, who owns Emerald Sea, told the Los Angeles Times that he has been running commercial fishing boats since the 1950s and this was the first time one of them had run aground. The ocean-meisters from the Harbor Patrol, the Coast Guard and Newport Beach PD put their heads together and decided the best option was to wait for the next high tide and yank the big brute back into the water if it didn’t float out on its own.

Not long after that, my favorite character in the entire drama showed up — Alexander Knost, a 21-year old surfer from Costa Mesa, although in Knost’s case, “surfer” is an understatement. Alex and his dad, Jim Knost, who is also a major league surfer, have traveled the world in search of the perfect wave, and both can be seen in the very successful feature-length surfing documentary “Step Into Liquid.”

More to the point, where others see problems, Alex Knost sees opportunities. He told the Daily Pilot that when he heard about Emerald Sea’s sandy situation, he thought it would be very cool to get some shots of himself surfing with the big beached behemoth in the background.

Remember those yellow plastic ribbons on the beach? A problem for some, an opportunity for Alex, who slipped past them with his longboard and tried to find just the right angle.

The lifeguards were not amused and ordered Alex to cease and desist, effective immediately, which Alex declined to do. When he finally did return to shore, the lifeguards detained him until emissaries from the Newport Beach Police Department arrived, who arrested him and gave him a complimentary ride to NBPD headquarters, where he was cited, with a $400 fine, then released.

In surfing, as in much of life, some days are better than others.

But Knost stayed positive, pretty much, and reacted with the alternative logic that is part of a counter-culture life. He readily admitted that he saw the yellow tape, but said it was a grammatical misunderstanding. “It said ‘Caution,’ not ‘Police Line: Do Not Cross,’ ” Knost told the Pilot. “Obviously I’m going to be cautious because there’s a boat out there — but I didn’t think it was going to be a crime against humanity.”

To make matters worse, Alex had equipment issues. He said he didn’t get one decent picture because he broke his fin on the way out. I don’t know what that means, but I assume it means a fin on his board, not him. Either way, it doesn’t sound good.

But even the lifeguards, the cops and the busted fin weren’t the worst part of Alex’s less-than-excellent adventure. “The biggest bummer of the whole thing was that I had to walk up Superior hill in my wetsuit,” he said. I’ve never had to walk up Superior in a wetsuit, but that doesn’t sound good either. Actually, I’ve never had to walk anywhere in a wetsuit. I tried one on at my son’s urging years ago, looked like the Michelin man in black latex, hated it, and was a few wiggles away from calling 911 and going to Hoag to have it surgically removed when someone finally got it off me.

The curious saga of Emerald Sea ended very early yesterday morning at high tide, as the stranded vessel slipped its sandy bonds and returned to the open ocean. It was a happy ending for the ship’s owners.

For Alex Knost, not so much — just 400 clams, a broken fin and walking up Superior in a wetsuit.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me. Not really.

I gotta go.