NATURAL PERSPECTIVE:Our twin starlets can cry right on cue

Our 1-year-old twin grandbabies, Allison and Lauren, landed a role last week in a new TV series. Their part was “cranky baby in restaurant.” Their lines were simple: All they had to do was cry. They’re teething right now, so, yeah, they could handle the part of a cranky baby.

Vic was preparing for class, so I went along as a “baby wrangler” without him. That meant that while their mom Nicole was on the set with one baby, I stayed in the dressing room with the other baby.

Nicole awoke at 3 a.m. to get ready to leave San Diego. She picked me up a little after 5 a.m. We sailed through traffic and arrived at CBS Studio Center in Studio City about 6:30, an hour early. The babies slept through the drive.

This studio was founded by Mack Sennett back in 1928. By 1935, the lot was owned by the newly formed Republic Pictures Corp., which specialized in B-movies, especially westerns.

Roy Rogers and Gene Autry made movies there, along with John Wayne early in his acting career. In 1963, CBS took it over. Among older shows filmed there were “Gunsmoke,” “Rawhide,” “Gilligan’s Island,” the “Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “Seinfeld,” and “Spin City.” More current shows include “Will and Grace,” “Still Standing,” “Yes, Dear” and “According to Jim.” We felt like we were about to become a part of history.

We were shown to our second-floor dressing room, which was like a small windowless hotel room without a bed. It had a matching sofa and chair, tables and lamps, mirrored closet doors and a bathroom with a shower.

If an actor was covered by slime from some disgusting alien creature from a sci-fi flick, he or she could wash off afterward. Fortunately, there was no slime other than what drooled out of the babies’ mouths.

The reed-thin, young wardrobe mistress was quite glamorous in a black turtleneck sweater over skin-tight black jeans tucked into knee-high, light blue suede boots. She had topped her outfit with a knee-length designer coat of gorgeous tan, curly felted material. The little pink-striped sweaters and pink-and-white overalls that she brought for the babies to wear were precious.

After we got the babies into costume, I called Tree of Life Nursery to check on a plant order that I had placed for a Bolsa Chica planting day. With a cellphone and laptop, I can work just about anywhere.

One of my big surprises was the presence of a teacher for the babies, a delightful woman with frizzy-blond hair named Kari Mayo. Law requires that a teacher be present for all children under 18 who are on a set. She played with the babies, talking to them about colors and doing other basic things that parents do to teach children. The babies loved her.

When they were ready for a baby on the soundstage, someone came up and gave us five minutes notice. Nicole and Kari took Allison onto the set, and I stayed in the dressing room with Lauren. Part of Kari’s job was to ensure Allison’s safety and to ensure that child labor laws were followed. The assistant director called “baby on the set” to quiet down the ambient noise for Allison’s comfort.

Allison was put into a car seat on the set, which represented an upscale Chicago restaurant. A red-headed actress played the part of her mother. Allison was fine until the “mom” put the top down on the car seat.

This was a signal to Allison that someone was trying to put her down for a nap. She would have none of that, and wailed. The cameraman came in close to get shots of her heartbreakingly mournful howls of protest.

The director said it was just what he wanted. After a very short time, Allison came out of the car seat, a doll went in and the real actors continued working. Nicole and I put the babies down for a nap and took turns having lunch with the crew at the craft service table. The seafood bisque was terrific, even in a paper bowl with a plastic spoon.

In the afternoon, they called for a happy baby, having already filmed a cranky baby. Kari told us that babies are only allowed to be on call for 4 1/2 hours. Allison is usually the happy baby, but she had been timed out. Lauren went to the set while I fed Allison.

By 2:30, the babies were “wrapped,” so we got them back into their own clothes and packed up. One of the handsome young male stars of the show talked to Nicole about the babies as we were leaving.

Unfortunately, we didn’t think to get a picture of the babies with him for their scrapbook. That would have been nice, because we weren’t allowed to take pictures on the set. I’m not even allowed to mention the name of the show, since it isn’t out yet.

It was fun to walk around the film lot, seeing people dressed for parts as cowboys and bodyguards. We noticed Jim Belushi ahead of us as we walked back to the parking garage.

The babies recently auditioned for a part in a commercial and for a part in the NBC series “Heroes.” I may have a new job as a showbiz granny.