COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:Blowing up (inflating) Santa Claus

I don’t know. I just can’t decide. You’ve seen the inflatable Christmas decorations of course. I can’t decide if I like them or not. Do you?

They popped up here and there over the last year or two, but this year, they’re everywhere — roofs, lawns, everywhere. Most of them are inflatable snow globes. I like that part. In fact, I’ve been a sucker for snow globes as long as I can remember. You see the clever little scene inside; you shake it; it snows. It’s perfect.

The part I don’t like about the inflatables is that they’re too easy. I assume you still have your copy of the Complete Rules of Hanging Christmas Lights and Assorted Yuletide Decorations from a few Christmases ago. If you recall, nothing about it is supposed to be easy. If it’s easy, you’re doing it wrong.

Now someone comes along with a giant inflatable with Santa and elves and penguins and you go pffft with the built-in pump, and bam — you’re done. The thing is 6-feet high, Santa is smiling, the penguin is waving and there’s snow swirling around. Way too easy in my opinion.

Putting up lights and decorations isn’t about easy. It’s about trying to remember what you did last year and hanging from a ladder and hoping you don’t electrocute yourself and cursing under your breath because one light is out so the whole string is out but just try to figure out which one it is.

Be that as it may, in an effort to keep an open mind and not wanting to base a decision on ignorance, I conducted an intense study of Christmas inflatables at www.target.com.

From square one, there was a problem. It took a while to sort things out because some of the pictures and descriptions were mismatched. What was supposed to be the Snowman and Penguin Snow Globe was actually the Polar Bear and Penguin, and the inflatable Santa Snow Globe had a picture of the Snowman and Penguin above it. As best as I can tell, you can get the Snowman and Penguin inflatable snow globe for $55.99 plus shipping. Again, the picture is confusing because the snowman is really a polar bear and the penguin is wearing a bright green dunce cap for some reason, but they’re both pretty cute. The thing is 4-feet tall when it’s blown up and the “durable polyester shell withstands season after season,” which is a good thing, I suppose.

If you want to trade up, the inflatable Santa Snow Globe is $79.99 and is 4 1/2 -feet tall, which is an extra 6 inches. It has “Santa, a penguin and swirling snow,” even though the picture shows a snowman and penguin due to the problem cited earlier. The penguin has a red Santa cap in this one though, which makes a lot more sense than a green dunce cap as far as I’m concerned.

Stepping up from there, the inflatable Snowman Snow Globe is yours for $90.99 plus shipping. It’s 6-feet tall and “features 2 snowmen, holiday tree and swirling snow.”

When you’re ready for inflatable heaven, you can go all the way and snag the air-blown, rotating Santa Carousel for $129.99 — the Queen Elizabeth II of Christmas decorations. It is a staggering 7-feet tall, with “4 traditional characters riding reindeer steeds. Sure to be the talk of the neighborhood.” I’ll bet it would. Sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes, not so much.

Anyway, check them out and decide for yourselves. I’ll try to decide by next Christmas if we need an inflatables section in the Complete Rules, but no promises. So what about the real snow globes? Where did those quirky little things come from? They came from France, of all places, which is to the left and slightly north of Italy.

They first appeared in the early 1800s and were originally meant to be clever paperweights. No one spent much time thinking about snow globes until one was sold as a souvenir at the 1889 Paris Exposition — a miniature Eiffel tower in a water-filled globe with fake snow. Sacre bleu.

Overnight, it was all snow globes all the time in Europe. The snow globe fad jumped the Big Pond to the U.S. in the early 1900s, mostly in the form of tourist souvenirs of cities and towns. By the 1930s, companies were using them as advertising gimmicks for a boatload of products. By the 1940s, snow globes got religion, especially among Catholics, with images of Jesus, Mary and various saints inside. My mother gave me more snow globes than I could count in the hope that I would turn out well, which didn’t work, but I really liked the snow globes. In the 1950s, plastics caused the next snow globe explosion, which now cost next to nothing to make. In the 1980s, snow globes went upscale and became fancy-schmancy snow globe music box things.

I have a great snow globe music box of the New York skyline. When you wind it up it plays “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” with Tony Bennett. Not really. I made that up. It plays “New York, New York.”

Let’s see, what else? Do you know how to say “snow globe” in other languages? Write this down. Next time you’re on vacation and you need a snow globe, you’ll thank me. Italian: “Palle di Neve.” French: “Boule de Neige.” German: “Schuddebussen.” Spanish: “Bola de Nuevo.” And my personal favorite, Polish: “Wodny Domek.”

Lastly, some film trivia. The most famous snow globe in Hollywood history is in the opening scene of Orson Welles’ “Citizen Kane.” As newspaper tycoon and zillionaire publisher Charles Kane lies on his deathbed, he plays with a snow globe in his hand. When Kane’s ticker is all ticked out, the globe slips from his hand, falls to the floor and shatters. As Charles Kane dies, he whispers one word, “Rosebud.” The rest of the film is the story of one reporter’s quest to find out what “Rosebud” means.

For the grand prize — and not to worry, I’ll think of something — what does “Rosebud” mean?

That’s it then. Everything you need to know about inflatable Santas, penguins in dunce caps and Wodney Domek.

I gotta go.