THE MORAL OF THE STORY:’Super mom’ exposed

“Isn’t it great to know you are not made with a cookie cutter? You are an original! That’s the very best reason to be yourself, love yourself, and be good to yourself! God made you unique because He wanted you to be distinct from all the others.”

Susan Miller

When our daughters were young, I saw a cartoon that made me laugh. In it, there were two mothers walking and talking while pushing strollers. There was no caption, but the thing that made me chuckle was what was written on one of the mother’s T-shirts. It read: “How’s my mothering? Call 1-800-something.”

I laughed because the artist captured, in cartoon form, what so many mothers wrestle with, which is whether or not others think that they are doing a good job of being a mother.

I remember what it was like to be a mother of young children, that it was incredibly rewarding yet incredibly draining. I also remember that even though I loved being a mother, and certainly had support from my husband, family and friends, I didn’t feel affirmed or encouraged by society or the media.

In fact, it often seemed that mothers were downgraded by the culture, and I still hear stay-at-home moms say that they feel “less-than” when they are asked what they do and they have no fancy title.

I recently talked to a young mother who said that she missed the praise from co-workers, and she doubted that her toddler would pat her on the back and tell her what a great job she was doing.

I told her that there is no such thing as “supermom” and the more she tried to keep up with some false unrealistic expectation, the more frustrated she would be. Only when I finally wrote out what all the expectations were did I realize how ridiculous it was to compete with the “supermom” image.

When I speak about this to women’s groups, I describe “supermom” as being slim and trim, fashionably dressed and color coordinated, a gourmet cook of nutritional food, much of which she has grown herself. Her children also look great, are brilliant and future sports stars, and involved in all the right activities and lessons. Her husband is well respected and a real mover and shaker. Her house looks likes it could be on the cover of a magazine and somehow manages to stay immaculate.

“Supermom” is never at a loss for something clever and witty to say, and of course, she does all of this effortlessly.

Of course, everybody laughs at the description, but everybody also agrees that we all think we have to come as close as possible to some unrealistic expectation. Doing so only leads to guilt and frustration and can cause us to expect too much from others.

It also robs us of joy in what we are doing. I think mothers and fathers need encouragement for the incredible job they have of raising the next generation.

God chose each of us to be who we are and we are ideally suited for what we are to do in life, complete with our strengths and weaknesses. We are one-of-a-kind originals, and we need to appreciate that. We need to be good to ourselves, love ourselves and enjoy being who God created us to be.

And you can quote me on that.