Family shelter can use our help

Rachel was 43 years old with four children when her husband lost his job as a factory foreman.

Her husband’s drinking was bad and getting worse.

They were unable to pay a full month’s rent on their apartment, and the landlord posted an eviction notice on her door. When her youngest son, 5, got home from school, he saw the notice.

The boy was already a good reader and he knew what the notice meant: They would have to move. Again.

The move would be one of 12 over a period of 10 years.

Rachel had no choice but to pack the family’s meager belongings and move somewhere else. But this time it was different. This time, she had so little money that she was forced to secure a two-room unit in which the rent was paid by the week.

The four boys, 15, 11, 7 and 5, slept in one room, three of them in the same bed on sheets that did not cover the whole mattress. One of the legs of the bed was supported by a stack of books.

Rachel’s husband was not contributing anything, not financially and certainly not by setting an example for their children. In the city in which they lived, having moved from her hometown several years earlier, Rachel did not have the family support system that may have pulled her through.

That was in 1960. Back then, mothers such as Rachel did not have many options. Without family, without money and without job skills, Rachel’s ability to make it through each day was just short of a miracle.

In 1960, divorce was not much of an option. Oh, sure, couples got divorced, but there was a stigma attached to divorce, enough to prevent many mothers from exercising the option.

Besides, a divorce would cost money and Rachel didn’t have any. A divorce, Rachel was sure, would also cause irreparable harm to her children.

In 1960, there weren’t many homeless shelters where families could go to weather a storm; no place where mothers in trouble could go to get relief from the pain of trying to find food or school clothes for her children.

In 1960, mothers had no clout.

Today, however, there are a number of places where families can go for help. Not just the handout type of help, but the “hand up” type that creates long term success.

One of these places is right in your backyard, and today, it needs your help.

The Orange Coast Interfaith Shelter is the county’s oldest and largest family shelter. It exists for one reason: to help families get back on track.

At the shelter, the focus is on children -- on making sure they do not miss a day of school and that they have enough food to eat and clothes to wear. Whether it’s day care, after school activities or tutoring, kids get care.

And most important, the shelter makes sure kids have hope.

At the Orange Coast Interfaith Shelter, people receive detailed assessments of their needs, challenges and opportunities so the most important issues can be addressed first.

The ultimate goal is permanent housing and self-sufficiency. To do that in about 90 days is not easy, but the dedicated staff has done it over and over again.

Much has changed since Rachel’s time. Families have places to go where total strangers care about them.

Unfortunately, there are millions of Rachels across the country who are in abusive or otherwise bad relationships. Sure, we can take the time to judge them and their choices, but that won’t help them get back on track, and it certainly won’t help their kids understand how life is supposed to be.

You can help children in our area understand that daddy is not supposed to hit mommy, that going to a job each day is important and that school is their best chance of achieving more than they can dream.

Like it or not, it’s already Christmastime. I urge you to help the families at the shelter -- these are families that want to do better -- by making a donation today. You can do that by calling (949) 631-7213 or by visiting www.ocinterfaithshelter.org.

Thank you very much.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (714) 966-4664 or send story ideas to [email protected].

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