All the wrong answers

JUNE CASAGRANDE

Good news, all, it’s time for another quiz. Let’s dive right in,

shall we?

First question, true or false: The word “ditto” hails back to the

1920s and ‘30s when copying machines known as “spirit duplicators”

were invented and subsequently popularized by a company named Ditto,

Inc.

If you said true, good work! It shows you’ve been paying attention

to this column. Unfortunately, you’re also dead wrong.

Last week’s column explored the origin of the expression “ditto”

and included a look back to the days when mimeograph machines were

often called ditto machines. All true, however I didn’t go back far

enough. As two readers pointed out this week, the word “ditto”

precedes the Ditto machine.

You know those little doodads that you use instead of repeating

words in a list, as in:

June was wrong.

“ “ way off.

“ “ asleep at the wheel.

Those are ditto marks. (Actually, ditto marks are supposed to be

straight vertical lines instead of curvy quotation marks, but my

computer doesn’t have those.) And they just might be the reason Ditto

Inc., chose to be called Ditto Inc., instead of, say, International

Making Papers That Look Just Like Other Papers Consolidated

Amalgamated Inc.

Moving on. Question two: The best way to sum up my Batgirl

aspirations as a child is, A) I wished I was her, or B) I wished I

were her.

B, you say? Good for you. Anyone who read the column two weeks ago

would know that was right. And by right, of course, I mean wrong.

Lemme ‘splain.

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the subjunctive: the case used to

express a wish, a hope or a doubt that often requires the use “were”

instead of “was.” So B above does demonstrate the correct use of the

subjunctive. Problem is that technically it should be, “I wish I were

she,” as yet another two readers pointed out.

Now, one (meaning I) could argue that this was a choice. I do know

that it’s correct to say, “This is she,” instead of “this is her.” I

know that it’s correct to say, “No one is more red-faced than I,”

instead of “ ... than me.” I know it’s correct to say, “Nobody was

there but I.”

I’ve just never understood why.

This is the moment I’ve been dreading since I first came up with

the idea to write a grammar column. This scares me more than any

other grammar topic because on more than one occasion I’ve asked

people to explain to me why you’re supposed to say, “this is she.” I

got answers, but I failed to understand them.

Until today. Prodded by Newport Beach resident Gary Newman and

another reader whose name I’ve misplaced, today is the day I

confronted my grammar boogeyman.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that it’s not wrong-wrong to say, “I wish I were

her.” It’s just informal. The snooty Chicago Manual of Style and

several grammar websites I found say that using “this is her” instead

of “this is she” is often only a question of how formal you want to

be.

The bad news is that, unlike so many grammar rules that are

surprisingly simple and intuitive, the formal rules here are really

difficult.

For the “this is she” versus “I wish I were her” question, the

answer lies in a little demon called the “predicate nominative.” As I

can hear the collective swoosh of 30,000 Daily Pilot pages preparing

to turn, I’ll sum this up as simply as my fledgling understanding

permits me to.

When a sentence’s subject refers to basically the same person or

the same thing as the object, and when the verb connecting them is

some form of “to be,” well, that’s the predicate nominative. And the

rule is, in this oddball case, to use the subject pronoun instead of

the object pronoun. I am she. Not I am me. (When you’re choosing to

be formal, that is.)

The other case -- “No one is smarter than he,” “Nobody was home

but I” -- is a little funkier. In this instance the reason you use

the subject instead of the object is because the pronoun follows a

conjunction, and conjunctions mainly introduce clauses. Therefore,

you’re really saying, “No one is smarter than he is,” just dropping

the “is.”

Of course, that’s for all you formal types. Those of us secure

enough in our grasp of the language to loosen up a little and bend

the rules, well you can’t really accuse us of making a “mistake,” can

you?

(Do I sound defensive? No, I don’t. Back off. Leave me alone. I’m

going home now.)

* JUNE CASAGRANDE covers Newport Beach and John Wayne Airport. She

may be reached at (949) 574-4232 or by e-mail at

[email protected].