Comments & Curiosities -- Peter Buffa

Silly season. I know you’re excited. Try to control yourself. Time for

another election. And that means, time for the official “Peter B.

Election Handbook.”

By now, you’ve received one “Voter’s Guide” after another in the mail.

Throw them out, all of them. Useless, irrelevant, meaningless.

This is the only one that matters. Cut it out. Tape it up. Refer to it

constantly between now and next Tuesday.

It’s an off-year and a short ballot, but there’s something to offend

everyone, of course. Other than Measure W -- “The Greatest Park You’ll

Never See” -- and the governor’s race, which is being held only because

Davis needs someone to beat in November, the entertainment value of this

election is, well, not high.

There are only six propositions on this Tuesday’s ballot, which is

deeply disappointing. But most of them at least try to be entertaining.

If you get confused, just vote against anything that “bureaucrats,”

“career politicians” or “special interests” want. And remember, only vote

for the ones that “help our kids” and always vote against the ones that

“hurt our kids.”

Think of Propositions 41 and 43 as “Florida-1” and “Florida-2.”

Proposition 41 is billed as the “Voting Modernization Bond Act of 2002”

and Proposition 43 is the “Right to Have Every Vote Counted” initiative.

Listen to those titles. Could there be anything more noble? Does anyone

dare speak against either of these guarantees for democracy, fairness and

truth? Well, uh, actually -- yes. Always check your handbook for the

English translation of ballot initiatives.

Proposition 41, “Florida-1,” which will “ensure that every person’s

vote is accurately counted,” will do so by strapping us with a

$200-million bond issue to pay for electronic voting machines around the

state. The problem in Florida was not defective voting machines. It was

defective brains. If you cannot figure out how to punch out the big,

black dot next to the name of the person you want to be president, you

are way too scary to be voting, no matter what kind of machine you’re

using. And if one is worried about fraud with mechanical voting

machines, the potential for tampering with electronic tabulators will

make the hair on the back of one’s neck stand at attention.

Exactly how will Proposition 43, “Florida-2,” give all of us the right

“to have that vote counted?” By giving Registrars of Voters more time to

certify election results beyond the current requirement of 30 days,

that’s how. Again, a severe case of Floridaphobia. If there had been a

Florida version of Proposition 43, that judge with the glasses and the

Marty Feldman eyes would still be holding ballots up to the light and

trying to figure out whose chad was hanging and whose wasn’t. Thirty days

is more than enough time to certify an election, twice.

And what about Measure W? Hmm. Like Jim Bowie said to Crockett, “Don’t

look good, Davy.” We are faced with the inescapable truth that politics

is about perceptions, not reality. Everyone knows perfectly well that the

proposed “Great Park” will never, and can never, be built on that site.

It is financially and environmentally impossible.

But the First Tenet of Politics will always prevail: “Never confuse

politics with reality.” So is this a time for desperation, darkness and

despair? Oh, get over it for heavens sake! Even if Measure W passes, this

fight is far, far from done. It ain’t over until you-know-who does

you-know-what, and she’s not even warming up yet, let alone ready to

sing.

Oddly enough, there is a good thing on Tuesday’s ballot. That doesn’t

happen enough, but it does happen. It’s called Proposition 42, the

“Transportation Congestion Improvement Act.” You have probably noticed

that we pay a lot for gasoline in this state. There was a time, long ago,

when most of that money, which is a lot, was used to improve the state’s

transportation system. But these days, any time Sacramento needs money

for education or social programs or even prisons, they just raid the gas

tax fund. That’s one reason you always see all those red taillights in

front of you. Proposition 42 is simple. It says that tax money that goes

in at the pump has to come out in the form of new or improved freeways,

streets and public transportation. Clean. Simple. Vote for it.

And that leaves my all-time favorite proposition: Proposition 45,

“Legislative Term Limits, Local Voter Petitions.” There may have been a

goofier ballot measure than Proposition 45 in California history, but I

can’t think of one offhand. Some very powerful legislators in

Sacramento, like State Senator John Burton from Marin County, are done

this year because of term limits. Friends of Burton, an ultraliberal

voice in Sacramento, and other about-to-be-retired legislators cooked up

Proposition 45 as a way to get around term limits.

Check this out. If 20% of the voters who voted for an office in the

last election sign a petition, that officeholder can get a four-year

extension beyond the existing term limits.

And how do these voters who are near heartbroken at the thought of

losing their state legislator express their grief and sign that petition?

This is my favorite part: incumbents and political action committees can

use professional signature-gatherers to get the signatures, like any

other campaign. Is this a great country or what?

Desperate for some kind of argument in support of Proposition 45, one

campaign mailer urged everyone to “Vote ‘Yes’ on Prop. 45 and Stop Willie

Brown!” Oh, I get it. If John Burton gets four more years in office, we

stop the mayor of San Francisco.

The Proposition 45 spinsters also get full credit for coining a new

term: “give local voters the right to keep good ‘Giuliani-like’

legislators.” You’d have to know more about John Burton to know why

that’s as funny as it is, but it’s like saying we need to do everything

we can to hold onto to great military leaders like Norman Schwartzkopf

and Jesse Jackson.

So there you have it. Everything you need to know about next Tuesday’s

election, and more. Vote early and often. It’s important. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays.

He may be reached via e-mail at o7 [email protected] .