ROBERT GARDNER -- The Verdict

The time: the late ‘30s.

The place: Balboa.

The case: The Police Department had received an anonymous call

reporting a manhole cover missing on Central -- now Balboa -- Boulevard.

A peculiar crime. Who would steal a manhole cover? Well, the caller

went on to say that this particular manhole cover could be found leaning

up against the bed of one Les Charle.

Quick to solve this crime, Officer Jack Kennedy immediately went to

the domicile of Les Charle, a beat-up rooming house, and, sure enough,

there was the missing manhole cover.

At this point, I must digress and describe Les “Shorty” Charle. Shorty

Charle was a drinking man. He was also a fighting man, but as he was only

about 5-foot-6, he wasn’t a very successful fighting man. The fact that

he had no front teeth was a pretty good sign that, as a fighter, Les

Charle was no Sugar Ray -- Robinson or Leonard.

Kennedy arrested Charle in connection with the theft of a manhole

cover, the property of the city of Newport Beach, and Charle stood trial.

It hardly came up to -- or down to -- the standards of the O.J.

Simpson trial. In fact, it was more like a homecoming than a criminal

trial. The policeman, Jack Kennedy, the defendant, Shorty Charle, and I,

the judge, had all worked together taking tickets at the Rendezvous

Ballroom during the late ‘20s.

But still, it was a trial, and we made the most of what we had.

Now while the evidence looked bad against Shorty, I was dubious about

the case. For better or worse, my reasoning went something like this:

While manhole covers play a vital part in any sewer system, they have

little or no market value. About the only market would be the city of

Newport Beach, and drunk or sober, Charle wasn’t about to try to sell

back to the city of Newport Beach a manhole cover he had just stolen from

that same public entity.

More importantly, how could little Les Charle, drunk or sober,

transport a manhole cover, which had to weigh a ton, several blocks from

its normal resting place, then upstairs to his room?

The whole case smelled of a prank. Rumor had it that two local

high-spirited drinking men, Rebel Brown and Jiggs Dyson, had put the

whole thing together as a joke. They were regular visitors to my court on

various charges invariably arising from drinking to excess, and this was

just the sort of thing they would find hilarious. Plus, as fishermen,

they were strong enough to move the manhole cover to Shorty’s room.

Putting all this together, I found the defendant not guilty, and that

was the end of the manhole cover caper. However, it was not the end of

Rebel Brown and Jiggs Dyson and their pranks. As I write this, I am

reminded of an incident involving those two and my future wife, but that,

as they say, is a story for another day.

* ROBERT GARDNER is a Corona del Mar resident and a former judge. His

column runs Tuesdays.