Through My Eyes

Ron Davis

Have you heard the story about government and the two bears? It’s

somewhat like “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” except we’ve eliminated

the one bear who thought the porridge was “just right.”

Some people in our society apparently have great difficulty in finding

something “just right” with anything and prefer to see solutions as too

much one way or too much the other -- eliminating the need for the third

bear.

As the dawn of the new year rose to greet the world, it dawned on part of

the world that Y2K’s arrival may have been grossly overestimated and that

our city, state and national governments overreacted. Personally, I find

it deplorable that I’ll actually receive my water bill in a timely

fashion and that the electricity stayed on. I’m joining those calling for

a full and complete investigation because we were just too ready.

I refuse to accept the explanation that we didn’t have a Y2K problem

because our government fixed it. I’d prefer to believe that there never

was a Y2K problem in the first place. Just one giant government

conspiracy to buy better computers and larger monitors for government and

industry, all at our expense.

Just to put my thoughts into perspective, I also believe we never sent a

man to the moon, there were no probes sent to Mars and the Earth is still

flat.

I’ll be calling the Huntington Beach City Hall and asking them to

reimburse me for the needless cases of pork and beans, and chicken noodle

and tomato soups I stocked up on. I like a dinner by flashlight as well

as the next guy, but I could eat soup and drink water by the flicker of a

candle well into the next century.

I didn’t overreact to this Y2K thing. Our elected officials and city

administration did. And even if I did overreact, the City Council made

me.

I’m going to guess here, but I’ll bet that City Hall suggests that I

donate some of the batteries, water and cases of food to a local charity.

Want to bet that they’ll even have a handy list of charities in case you

call?

And that, my friends, proves my point. It was all just one big, happy

government conspiracy, and the charities were involved, too.

On a personal level, we did have a couple of chip-glitches at home.

Our new electronic scale obviously hadn’t had the chip replaced, because

it’s several pounds off. On the high side, no less. Somehow the bug even

traveled to my mechanical scale. I’ve talked to some of my neighbors, and

they seem to be having the same problem.

I’m really concerned and suggest that everyone in the community check

their scales. If your scale suggests that you weigh more than you did a

year ago, the appropriate conclusion to draw is that the scale is

defective. I refuse to blame my eating habits, when I can blame a scale.

I completely support those who blame others for the condition of

society’s porridge, suggesting that it’s either too hot or too cold, and

never admitting that it’s just right.

The notion that we should be thankful that our city government eased us

into a new era with a minimum of glitches, coupled with maximum safety,

requires further critical analysis and skepticism. Every silver lining

has a gray cloud, and we all have a responsibility to identify it.

I hope this didn’t happen, but it may be that our city and its officials

handled this Y2K thing properly. As unlikely as that seems, if the

evidence seems to suggest as much, don’t admit it to anyone. Least of

all, don’t congratulate those who might be responsible. Like we like to

say in the newspaper business, “If you can’t say something negative about

something, say nothing at all.”

* RON DAVIS is a private attorney who lives in Huntington Beach. He can

be reached by e-mail at o7 [email protected] .