He’d Prefer to Say Bye to Nicklaus Only Once

Jack Nicklaus announced he will retire from competitive golf after the British Open and Ray Ratto, in a special to ESPN.com, declared, “Here’s hoping he holds true to his word.”

Assuring he meant no disrespect, Ratto continued, “It’s just that, well, we get a little worried when athletes announce they’ve had enough, and then decide they haven’t after all.

“See Felix Trinidad for the latest example of this -- return to the ring after 29 months with a monumentally bad haircut, get utterly schooled for 12 rounds by a guy willing to call himself Winky in public, only to retire again.

“What, oh children of the corn, is the lesson we can draw from that?”

*

Trivia time: Smarty Jones last year won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes, but failed to earn the Triple Crown when he lost in the Belmont Stakes. In a six-year period beginning in 1997, three of trainer Bob Baffert’s horses did the same thing. Who were they?

*

Not so fast: Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle says there are several contenders threatening to replace the Kentucky Derby as “the most exciting two minutes in sports:

“[Steve] Nash’s annual haircut.... The Lakers’ fastbreak.... The Kwame Brown era in D.C.... Kellen Winslow Jr.’s Evel Knievel impersonation.... An NBA 20-second timeout.... A Steinbrenner hissy fit.... Jason Giambi’s swing.”

*

Fit for print? Greg Cote of the Miami Herald wrote that after Tiger Woods missed the PGA Tour cut Friday to end a streak of 142 tournaments without missing the cut, he walked by the scorer’s tent and found a grinning Sheryl Crow singing “The First Cut Is the Deepest,” and chased her with his lob wedge.

“At least that’s what Newsweek reported,” Cote stated.

*

That hurts: Craig Biggio of the Houston Astros is not chasing one of baseball’s more dubious records. It’s chasing him. Biggio has been hit by 260 pitches and needs to be plunked eight more times to surpass the modern-era mark of 267 set by Don Baylor.

“I am up there to get a hit,” Biggio said in the New York Times. “I’m not trying to get hit.”

*

Fans gone wild: In light of the trend involving spectators mixing it up with players, the San Jose Mercury News ranked past incidents. “Biggest idiot” was a Philadelphia hockey fan who dived into the penalty box in 2001 and picked a fight with enforcer Tie Domi.

“Most symbolic” was the episode in 1976 involving Chicago Cub outfielder Rick Monday’s preventing two men from burning the American flag on the field at Dodger Stadium.

Finally, there was the “most acceptable” occurrence, in 1996 when Richard Krajicek and MaliVai Washington were preparing for the Wimbledon final and simply stood and smiled as a 23-year-old London woman streaked across Centre Court.

*

Trivia answer: Silver Charm in 1997, Real Quiet in 1998 and War Emblem in 2002.

*

And finally: The St. Paul Pioneer Press wondered if the opening of fishing season would affect attendance in the Metrodome. The answer came from Scott O’Connell, Minnesota Twins’ director of ticket sales: “I checked. Not everyone fishes.”