South Koreans Turn to Matchmakers for Foreign Brides

SEOUL — Chae Ki-lyong lost faith in marriage after being deserted by his Chinese wife five years ago, and his mother’s matchmaking attempts failed to dull the feeling that he was unlucky in love.

Seemingly unable to find an ideal mate in his native South Korea, the 40-year-old carpenter joined an increasing tide of Korean men seeking brides outside the country and headed to an international matchmaking agency.

“Korean women are too picky,” said Chae, who last fall married a 23-year-old Vietnamese woman, Le Thi Ngoc Bich. “I’m really fed up how they seem to weigh men’s finances, physical appearance and family situations before considering marriage.”

Despite Korea’s historically homogeneous society, speedy arranged marriages with foreign brides are booming, fostered by aggressive advertising campaigns from matchmaking agencies. The number of South Korean men marrying foreigners last year totaled 25,594, more than double the 11,017 such marriages in 2002, according to the Korea National Statistical Office.

Arranged marriages aren’t new in South Korea, where pairings with Chinese residents of Korean origin became popular in rural towns starting in the 1980s due to a shortage of young women, who left to seek their fortunes in cities. But now South Korean men are broadening their horizons and opting for brides who don’t share a similar ethnic background.

Among foreign brides, those from China still top the list at 18,527 last year -- an increase of 40% from 2003. Vietnamese brides are next, at 2,462, up 75% from the year before. Japanese and Filipina followed at 1,224 and 964, respectively.

“Korean men are widely popular in Vietnam,” said Choi Sung-hee, a consultant at ING Wedding, which specializes in arranged marriages with Vietnamese women. “They have the reputation of being hard workers and family-oriented.”

The agency takes prospective grooms to Vietnam for a weeklong tour, where they meet as many as 100 potential brides in their 20s, none previously married. The candidates are narrowed down to a couple dozen based on looks, then interviewed through an interpreter.

“It’s like the competition for Miss Korea,” Choi said.

After a man chooses a woman, they go to her home to get her parents’ permission. The groom also pays $1,000 to the family as a wedding gift. The third day is their wedding day, then they’re off to the honeymoon.

Things don’t necessarily end up happily ever after.

Because grooms pay broker’s fees and for the wedding -- usually between $6,000 and $11,000 -- many marriage counselors say men feel that they’re “buying” brides and don’t treat them as equal partners.

“In many cases, the husbands and in-laws verbally or physically abuse the brides,” said Choi Jin-young, a counselor at Women Migrants Human Rights Center in Seoul. “Many foreign wives don’t even know why they’re being abused,” she said, adding that they didn’t have many places to turn for help.

Many Korean men also don’t try to learn their wives’ culture or language, said Bae Suk-ill, president of Incheon Women’s Hotline, which provides counseling and Korean language classes for immigrant women.

Myrna, a Filipina who married a 39-year-old Korean mechanic last year, says she doesn’t understand orders from her in-laws -- who won’t let her bring friends to the house or attend church on Sundays. She is taking Korean lessons so that she can ask why.

“I feel that they don’t trust me. They’re maybe thinking I’m going to run away,” said Myrna, 32, who agreed to talk with a reporter only if her last name was not revealed.

The suspicions are sometimes well-founded.

According to the Korean Nationality Act, a foreigner who is married to a Korean and has lived in Korea more than two years qualifies to apply for Korean citizenship.

“There are cases that foreign brides from poor countries use the marriage as a ticket to enter Korea and run away to find employment,” Bae said. There are no statistics on how many foreign brides have fled their marriages. The Chinese ex-wife of Chae, the carpenter, ran away after two years of marriage.

But while he had a rough time in his first marriage, Chae says the first months since his second wedding have been bliss, even though they must communicate with hand gestures and body language.