Bandwagon May Need a Quick Trip to Garage

To all of those Laker fans who thought a victory parade this June was inevitable, I hear there are some very good package deals right now to San Antonio, Sacramento, or Minnesota.

Michael Lipofsky

Simi Valley

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The Lakers’ 0-2 start against the Spurs is a perfect example of what happens when a dream team meets a real team.

Steve Knapp

Long Beach

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It might be time to pull out the Zen magic for Game 3 and beyond. Consider these ploys:

* After Game 3, Phil Jackson refuses to let the team rest up in Los Angeles between games and insists they fly to San Antonio on Monday.

* Because Kobe performs miracles after Colorado court appearances, insist that hearings be scheduled on each day the Lakers have a playoff game.

* Hire Shaq’s dad as a teamwork consultant, but avoid asking him why, when he was teaching Shaq all the right discipline moves, he didn’t spend five minutes teaching his son how to make a free throw.

Steve Tarde

El Cajon

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Watching the Lakers show up and play for 30 minutes a game makes it all the more infuriating when they simply give up. I pay a lot for my season seats; maybe a starter will switch with me Sunday. They can sit in Row 19, and I will stand on the court and watch the Spurs run past me for layups.

Where is the pride on Shaq’s team ... er, Kobe’s team ... I mean, Phil’s ... oh never mind. I give up too.

Gregory Poirier

Santa Monica

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If the Glove don’t fit, he must just sit.

I am tired of hearing how the Lakers’ system doesn’t fit Gary Payton’s game. It is up to GP to fit into the Lakers’ style of play. If he can’t or won’t, then he should be benched. The Lakers don’t need a “future Hall of Famer” that doesn’t get the job done; they need an adequate point guard who can dish out some assists, score a few points, and play some good defense.

Karl Malone has also seen his skills diminish, but his willingness and ability to fit his game into the Laker system make the Lakers a better team with him on the floor. Alas, the same can’t be said for Gary Payton.

P.J. Gendell

Beverly Hills

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The difference in this series is on the bench. Phil Jackson is being out-coached. He does not make adjustments, he does not have his team play physically (when was the last time Tony Parker got knocked down driving to the basket?), he does not use timeouts effectively, and he does not stress defense.

I would welcome a new coach who understands the game is played on both ends of the court. Is it too much to ask a coach to simply practice defense? Phil does not, Gregg Popovich does and that is the difference.

Dave Esposito

Hermosa Beach

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Dear Lakers,

I’ve been a die-hard Laker fan for life and I’d like to personally thank each of you for your tremendous contribution to the NBA. Because of your inconsistencies, lackluster play and lack of motivation, for the second consecutive season I’ll be forced to root for the Eastern Conference winner in the NBA Finals. I’m sure David Stern is appreciative.

Adam Titcher

Lake Balboa

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After the Lakers’ second consecutive tumultuous showing in the Alamo City, after a season filled with volumes of soap-opera antics and Phil Jackson’s reluctance to discuss his future contract status, it became apparent to me that the answer to Laker chemistry woes has been spending his spring Sundays with his back turned on Times Square: Byron Scott.

David Kort

Northridge

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It’s a shame any Laker fan should have to write this letter. I’m so tired of people blasting Phil Jackson for “not doing enough” as a coach. This man had six rings before he showed up in Lakerland. The triangle offense was the tried and true formula in Chicago and it worked. It might work here if the prima donnas on the team didn’t challenge it (Payton) and the remaining venerable triad of superstars decided to implement it.

I’m tired of people saying that when you have the kind of talent the Lakers do, it doesn’t matter who coaches them, that anyone could. Ask Del Harris and Kurt Rambis about that.

The Lakers, collectively, need to step up and prove they can behave like men, at least when it counts. So, boys, put your massive egos away, take direction, practice your free throws, play defense like your life depended on it or start summer vacation early, embarrassed and ringless for the second year in a row.

Laine Larsen

Torrance

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Bring in Steven Spielberg because the Lakers have forgotten their roles.

Keep giving Shaq the ball. He shot 71% from the floor on 21 shots, put five fouls on Nesterovic, had Duncan running for cover, brought the team back to within three points and when it mattered most, didn’t touch the ball for seven straight trips down the floor.

Yes, even Superman had Kryptonite and Shaq has the free-throw line, but keep feeding him the ball every time down the floor and by the end of the game, he’ll have Tony Parker covering him with Nesterovic, Willis, Horry and Duncan sitting beside the Czar and Kerr on the sideline.

Gerald Ford

Culver City

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Having recently heard the comments made by Shaquille O’Neal’s stepfather, I feel I can no longer leave my frustration unexpressed.

I am so tired of Shaq’s shortcomings falling on the shoulders of Kobe Bryant. Does Kobe take the occasional ill-advised shot? Absolutely. Does he sometimes play as if he’s the only player on the floor? Certainly. However, and this does not always excuse those actions, it’s not as if the Lakers have a bevy of offensive options. By the way, what is Devean George paid to do? I’m a little confused on that one.

In any event, it seems that every time Shaq decides to take a game off, which is much too frequent, it’s Kobe’s fault for being “selfish.” If Shaq has a great game with Kobe feeding him the ball, it’s because Shaq is the unstoppable force. If Kobe has a great game, it’s because Shaq is drawing all the attention.

Kobe works his tail off on both ends of the floor, strives to improve during every off-season and understands the importance of staying in peak condition. If he leaves the team after this season, I will smile, nod the understanding nod and wish him my best. That, however, will be a sad day. I wonder what Shaq’s excuses will be then.

Scott Palmer

Littleton, Colo.

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Well, I guess it’s time to start pondering the Lakers’ future.

I have no worries, because Doc Buss will find himself a new coach (Phil will take his drum and be the new point man on Indian gaming under Gov. Arnold), a point guard (Gary is going to be great on TNT next year), a backup point guard (Derek Fisher is going fishing), a power forward (maybe Derek and Karl can get a deal on two-for-one fishing licenses in Arkansas), a small forward (Rick can get a part on the new “CSI New York,” and Phil says Devean’s “distraught”, so undoubtedly next year he’ll be in a rubber room at the loony bin), and shooting guard (the Kobester is looking great in a Sun uniform with Charles Barkley as the new owner).

So if I may suggest it, Sarge Harrison would be a great coach for that Fab Five of Shaq, Kareem Rush, Luke Walton, Brian Cook, and whomever Mitch Kupchak picks up in the draft as the 27th pick.

Tom Rapier

Pacific Palisades

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Whatever happens in this series, Laker fans should not, under any circumstances, boo Robert Horry.

Rick Wallace

Malibu

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What we need from the Lakers is a little less conversation and a little more action.

Mike Kichaven

Sherman Oaks

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With apologies to the great Nick Van Exel, we always have Cancun.

Tom Mayer

Westwood