LAUGH LINES
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A Miserable Life: “According to a new study at Duke University, depressed women live longer. Well, that should cheer them up.... Not only is your life miserable, it’s going to go on for a long time.” (Jay Leno)
Off the Job: “Congress recently dismissed 11 teenage House pages who had been caught in possession of marijuana. They can’t ignore the laws of the land just because they work on Capitol Hill. They have to be elected to do that.” (Argus Hamilton)
Staying Awake: “The manufacturer of a drug called Provigil, which is used in treating narcolepsy, wants the FDA to approve the drug for wider use.... They claim the drug can also be used to help non-afflicted people who just want to stay awake for a while, like truck drivers, all-night DJs--and anyone attending a Kenny G concert.” (Ira Lawson)
The Great Workout: “According to a British medical journal, men reduce their chances of having a fatal heart attack by [about] 36% if they have at least 100 orgasms a year. Finally, an exercise plan guys can get behind.” (Leno)
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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012.
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