Too Bad We Can’t All Get A-Rod Money

It really breaks my heart this time of year to see major league baseball players being taken advantage of by owners. With all the struggles in the world, you would think the owners would be more understanding about the plights of agents and players.

I think of the lonely nights in the west wing of the mansion where an unsigned free agent waits by the phone. I imagine the hurt of an insulting multimillion-dollar offer. How dare the San Francisco owners not give a 38-year-old player a $100-million deal when he has zero comparable offers? Or Seattle ownership not reward a journeyman second baseman for a career year? Of course there is Moises Alou, who had to settle for $9 million a season. I hope there was someone nearby to give Moises a comforting hug. Thank God for the double coupons at Ralphs, eh Moises? Could it be collusion, Mr. Sheffield? Well it may be collusion, or maybe the owners are finally inching their buried heads out of you know where.

Scott Boras and Jeff Moorad should take Geraldo’s place in Afghanistan to learn the true meaning of words like fair, value and worth. Gonzalez, Boone and Bonds are all waiting in line for a team to bid against themselves for their services as pioneers A-Rod, Kevin Brown and Manny Ramirez were able to do.

I was always under the impression that bidding went like this, “Do I hear one dollar?”, “I have one dollar, do I hear two?” “No? Sold for one dollar.”

So how does Jason Giambi’s second-best offer of $91 million jump to $120 million for the winner? Why didn’t the Yankees pay $92 million? That’s some collusion, my friends.

Ty Visconti

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