LAUGH LINES

Leaving the Campaign Trail: “In a terrible blow to comedy shows across the nation, former Vice President Dan Quayle dropped out of the presidential race.” (Craig Kilborn)

Not Ready to Say Goodbye: “I bet if we took up a collection, just among the comedians, we could raise more than enough money to keep him in the race.” (Jay Leno)

To Be Precise: When Quayle announced he would no longer be seeking the GOP nomination, the reaction was a little low key. “Unfortunately Quayle disappointed the crowd by failing to add the all-important word ‘ever.’ ” (Jon Stewart)

Looking Back: Quayle’s campaign has been in trouble since his poor showing in Iowa’s straw poll. “He finished a distant eighth, behind ‘straw.’ ” (Stewart)

Looking Ahead: Quayle doesn’t know what he wants to do next. “He may become a cowboy or a fireman, maybe an Indian chief.” (Leno)

Looking Ahead, Part II: Quayle said he hasn’t given up on his plans to remain a player on the national stage. “In fact, next week he is going to try to win some of Ben Stein’s money.” (Kilborn)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.