Mayor Stuffs Team’s Promise of Full Monty

Colombia’s national underwater rugby team--not water polo--performed a striptease Thursday before 1,500 female fans in Medellin to raise money for a trip to the world championships, but the mayor barred The Full Monty.

Moments before going on stage, the first-time strippers received a note from the mayor’s office ordering them to refrain from their promise of total nudity.

So the men stripped down to their swimming caps, goggles and white bikini briefs--but not a stitch more.

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More strippers: In underwater rugby, teams of six players try to score by stuffing a weighted rubber ball into baskets at the bottom of both ends of a pool.

The players wear fins, snorkels and masks. Light contact is permitted, but it is forbidden to hold, kick, punch or pull an opponent’s swimming trunks.

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Trivia time: Who holds the Angel record for most home runs in a season?

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Put-down, down: Hall of Fame horse trainer Charlie Whittingham, who died Tuesday at age 86, once said of jockeys:

“There’s no use giving them instructions because by the time they go from the paddock to the track, they’ve already forgotten. There’s a reason why jockeys wear size-3 1/2 hats.”

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Rejuvenation: Elden Campbell was often criticized for his inconsistent play as a Laker, but he’s a new Elden with the Charlotte Hornets.

“I didn’t know he was as good as he is,” said interim Hornet Coach Paul Silas. “He really makes a difference for us.”

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Not so dumb: Denver Nugget Coach Mike D’Antoni, on why he didn’t empty his bench late in a rout of New Jersey:

“I wanted to be the idiot that won by a lot instead of that idiot that lost the game.”

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Gap-event: The Kansas City Blades of the International Hockey League held “Toothless Night” recently, admitting 269 fans missing a tooth for free and 48 more with a chipped tooth at half-price.

A fluke? Last Saturday marked the 47th anniversary of New York Giant relief pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm hitting a home run in his first major league at-bat.

He pitched in 1,070 big-league games in his career and never hit another homer.

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Revelation: The recent Dodger-Colorado Rockie rainout was the first at Dodger Stadium since 1988.

“I never knew they even had a tarp,” Rockies’ coach Rich Donnelly told the Philadelphia Inquirer. “Turns out they had a nice one too. They didn’t know how to get it out there, but at least they had one.”

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Trivia answer: Reggie Jackson, 39 in 1982.

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Quotebook: Houston Astro outfielder Carl Everett on Wrigley Field: “To me, it’s the worst park in baseball other than the one in Detroit. As far as I’m concerned. they can stick some dynamite in it.”

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And finally: Almost all guaranteed contracts for baseball players rule out boccie, an Italian lawn bowling game, and spelunking, or cave exploration.

Said San Diego relief pitcher Trevor Hoffman, “The first time I heard about spelunking, I thought it had something to do with pornography.”