NONFICTION - July 23, 1995

DAVE BARRY’S COMPLETE GUIDE TO GUYS by Dave Barry. (Random House: $21; 189 pp.) You’ve heard of the third wave, well this is the third gender--more like a different species, constantly mutating, never evolving. They’re cute and fuzzy and they never mean to hurt anyone, in fact, they are often burdened by the unbearable lightness of guyhood. “A guy in a relationship,” Barry tells us, “is like an ant standing on top of a truck tire. The ant is aware, on a very basic level, that something large is there, but he cannot even dimly comprehend what this thing is, or the nature of his involvement with it.” If you are female and are exposed to guys in your daily life, you may find the chapter “Tips for Women” extremely useful. “The Number One Tip to remember is: Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.” Barry offers helpful reminders such as: “Wake up, Roger! There’s a prowler in the den and we have a relationship! You and I do, I mean.” But perhaps the funniest parts of the book are in the charts, like the “Stimulus-Response Comparison Chart: Women vs. Men vs. Guys,” with a typical entry: Stimulus: Human mortality. Woman Response: Religious faith. Man Response: The Pyramids. Guy Response: Bungee-jumping.