Protecting Your Child : Rules for Living in a Dangerous World

The kidnaping and killing of Polly Klass in Petaluma and the series of child molestation incidents in the San Fernando Valley have focused parents’ concern on their children’s safety. Molesters can strike anywhere, but usually follow patterns. Parents, by working with their children, can substantially reduce the chances of victimization.

Broaching the Subject

Recent events have left many children fearful--as well as parents. Sometimes, this may not be an easy subject to bring up. Some tips:

1. Assure your children that they can be safe if they follow some simple rules and form good habits. The main thing to remember is never to go anywhere with anyone without your permission.

2. Ask them to always confide in you, even if the subject feels uncomfortable.

3. Teach your children that there are good strangers and bad strangers. For example, police officers, sales clerks and teachers are people a child should seek out if they are in trouble.

4. There are also good secrets and bad secrets. Bad secrets include an adult telling a child not to tell that he offered candy to go in his car, or that he touched a child in a private place.

Safety Rules

ON THE STREET

* Have your child walk or play with other children or trusted adults.

* Establish a call-back routine with your school to alert you if your child does not report for class.

* Do not allow your children to walk outside after dark.

* Adopt a family code word. Instruct your child never to go with an adult who does not give the code word.

* Tell your child not to get into a car with a stranger.

* Teach children to walk against traffic if possible. This allows them to easily see a car stopping near them.

* Tell your children to run or yell if someone tries to force them to go somewhere.

* Never let a stranger photograph your children without your permission.

* Instruct your child to tell you if he or she had been approached by a stranger.

IN THE HOUSE

* Keep your doors locked, even during the day. Many molesters simply walk in.

* Do not open doors for strangers and instruct your child not to let anyone at the door know he or she is alone.

* When answering the phone, your child should not give any information to strangers.

Profile of Molesters

There are several types of child molesters, but a common one is a non-family member who engages in force or violence against a child, such as kidnaping or rape.The suspects are almost always male. The recidivism rate of child molesters is among the highest of all crimes.

* How a victim is chosen The typical child molester seeks vulnerable children. He tends to gravitate to places where he can observe many children. These include schools, playgrounds, movie theaters, arcades, public restrooms, libraries, parks and public swimming pools.

* Who is at risk? He may prefer a certain type of child, but will not confine himself to that type if he has a better opportunity to attack others.

Essential Skills

* Teach your children how and when to use 911 and how to use a public telephone.

* Teach them what to do if you become separated, especially in a crowd. They should seek help from people such as an usher, police officer or sales clerk. They should stay in one place if they get lost. You may also want to give your children a whistle to signal for help.

* Encourage your children not to keep secrets from you. If someone has been bothering them but has not tried any overt acts, you need to know about it.

The Importance of Practice

Play roles with your children to teach them how to respond. If properly prepared, they can automatically take the right action if in danger. It is important to keep up these practice sessions as children get older. For example, a 9-year-old may forget or ignore what he or she knew at age 7.

Source: Los Angeles Police Department