BREA : Moms Who Choose Home Over Work

Baby talk is fun and cute, Kathy Jew says, but, frankly, you can only take so much. If it goes on daily, for endless hours, “sometimes, you feel like pulling your hair out.”

But that’s the staple of mothers who choose to stay home, she says.

“You yearn to talk to an adult,” said Jew, 34, who quit her job as a Hughes Aircraft engineer two years ago to care for her two boys, ages 2 and 11 months.

In her efforts to find an adult to talk to, Jew founded the Brea chapter of Mothers Offering Moms Supports, or MOMS, a nationwide nonprofit organization that offers activities for so-called at-home mothers.

Twelve women signed up at the club’s first meeting April 21 and, as word about the group spread, members have come from Brea, Yorba Linda, La Habra and Placentia, she said. Now, the group numbers close to 20.

On Wednesday as she watched about a dozen women in group discussions while their children played at Arovista Park, Jew described how society generally does little for mothers who choose to stay home and care for their children.

Being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world, she said, yet they have lacked support groups.

In addition to giving mothers a chance to talk to other mothers, the group also sets up picnics and field trips, giving the children, who are mostly preschoolers, a chance to play and learn social skills, she said.

The club also plans to hold mom’s night out and business meetings with invited speakers. Membership is $20 a year.

One goal of MOMS is to let mothers know they made the right decision in staying home, Jew said.

She said more mothers are leaving the work force to raise their children. One reason is the lack of good, affordable child care; other couples have decided it makes sense to have one parent stay at home.

“I wouldn’t want my child running around in some day-care center,” said Maria Corbin, 31, who was forced to stay home and care for her 13-month-old son after losing her job at Hughes Aircraft, but who has decided now that she won’t go back to work full time until her son is school-age.

Staying at home “is difficult but very rewarding,” she said. “Sometimes, you go crazy, but I’m raising my child the way I want him raised.”

Anne Davis, 38, a mother of two girls, quit her job as product analyst at a Covina company nine months after she had her first child. She described adjusting to staying home as hard at first.

“When I was working, I felt guilty that I was not spending enough time with my child,” she said. “Now, I feel guilty that I’m not bringing home a paycheck.”

Davis said society puts women in a bind. Women are criticized for leaving the home to work and for quitting work to stay home.

“There should be social acceptance for whatever it is that women decide to do,” she said.