A Matter of Style All That’s Holding Back Carl Lewis

Rumors, free thoughts and cheap shots: Whatever happened to Carl Lewis?

I’m not referring to the commercial endorsements and movie roles Carl was expecting to land after the Olympics, but didn’t. I’m talking about long jumping.

Only a couple of years ago, Lewis was predicting that he would soon soar 30 feet, so forget about Bob Beamon’s puny 29-2 1/2 world record.

After seeing him on TV’s Night of 100 Stars Monday night, I think I know what the problem is. Carl’s new hairstyle makes him aerodynamically unstable.

The only active quarterback who paraded across the stage in that Night of 100 Stars TV show was Dan Marino. The cover boy on the April issue of Football Digest is Dan Marino, “Player of the Year.”

Marino had a great season, but did anybody happen to watch that game a couple of months ago called the Super Bowl?

Since nobody has bought the L.A. Express yet, I assume either nobody wants to buy the team, or it’s taking a long time to sort through all the offers.

I think the problem is that most people are still feeling that post-Christmas financial squeeze, and a football team, even a USFL team, just doesn’t fit into many household budgets.

One rumor is that the league will offer the Express, like a resort condominium, for sale on a time-share basis. For a reasonable investment, you can buy ownership in the team for one week a year.

There will be a few rules for the new group of owners, of course.

1. No owner, during his or her week of ownership, may install a relative or neighbor in the starting lineup. 2. No pets. 3. Bring your own coffee cup. 4. Bring your own cheerleaders. 5. Check-out time is 8 p.m. Sunday.

What do athletes do with their money?

Relief pitcher Bill Caudill, after signing a five-year, $8.5-million contract with the Toronto Blue Jays, said: “Now I can send my children to college.”

With that kind of money, Caudill can afford to send a college to his children.

What do athletes do with their money if they don’t have children to send to college?

They invest. Doug Flutie, for instance, invested in a $48,000 Porsche, a week before he signed his contract with the New Jersey Generals.

Ever notice that athletes never sign $8.6-million contracts and then go out and buy used Buicks?

By the way, there is no truth to the rumor that the reason Flutie’s Porsche cost so much was the optional training wheels.

When it comes to marketing and promotion, nobody outdoes the Dodgers. Example: This spring’s reunion of the 1955 World Championship team at Vero Beach.

Besides being a warm sentimental gesture and deserving tribute to the oldtimers, the reunion generated a lot of ink.

Good work, Dodgers. And pay no attention to the cynical fans who are saying that for opening day, you should hold a reunion of the ’81 Dodgers.

The deal of the year in the NBA could turn out to be the Boston Celtics’ recent signing of free agent Ray Williams.

He gives the Celtics a much-needed backcourt scoring threat off the bench, and he’s big enough at 6-3 and 195 to muscle up against Magic Johnson, if the Celtics and Lakers meet in the finals.

Williams’ presence could have an effect similar to what happened when the Raiders’ signed Mike Haynes in midseason two years ago. A few teams, like the Celtics and Raiders, seem to luck into deals like this. Year after year.

While there’s still a few weeks of spring training remaining, isn’t it time for the Dodgers to make the necessary move?

Steve Sax to center field.

With all due respect to Ken Landreaux, the Dodgers need a take-charge, diving, fence-busting person out there, as the Angels have in Gary Pettis.

Sax has the speed and the attitude, and this move would alleviate the psychological problem Sax has been battling, of making the short throws to first base on ground balls to second.

Not that there’s anything wrong with an outfield of Al Oliver, Landreaux and Mike Marshall. The only question would be, who’s going to run down, and catch, the baseballs that the other team hits out there?